the crone

Christmas, eh.

It’s all well and good if you are in a happy place. But when you’re not, Christmas is something that can push you over the tinsel-bedecked edge.

“Joy to the World!” pipes the tinny supermarket muzak as you watch sad, grim-faced people gazing at boxes of SuperValu mince pies.

It can feel miserable. And depressing.

A fake jolliness we desperately try to invent, to get involved with, ‘Because it’s CHRISTMAS!’.

And, ‘CHRISTMAS IS WHAT YOU MAKE IT!.’

And, “IT’S NOT ABOUT ALL THE PRESENTS … IT’S ABOUT LOVE, AND FAMILY, AND GOODWILL TO EVERYONE.”

Bah.

So, I was browsing in a department store trying to find a festive jumper for my son, but it was out of stock.

Bah.

In-store was jostling with shiny Christmas promotions and glittering displays. That’s when I noticed:

‘We’ve Got The Perfect Christmas Gift’s For You!’

BAH.

BAH BAH and DOUBLE BAH with a GIANT APOSTROPHE HUMBUG on top.

As a copywriter (who too often has been told ‘We’re bringing the writing in-house’), it makes me mad (and sad) to see a well-known brand approve and print a glaringly gleaming grammatical goof like this.

Maybe the marketing department think the words are of so little importance that they don’t mind displaying their ignorance, lack of attention to detail, slacksadaisical approach to quality etc. etc.

After all, IT’S ONLY THE RETAIL YEAR’S MOST IMPORTANT SALES EVENT.

It really doesn’t matter that they have produced, approved and printed (all in-house – it’s better, you know,) a lovely display with a stupid typo in it. Then plastered the mistake all over their lovely top-notch merchandise.

It’s only been reproduced and repeated in hundreds of large shops all over the country.

Nothing to see here.

Move along.

Let’s all deck the halls with sloughs of folly.

FA LA LA LA LA

LA LA

LA

LA.

Seriously, here’s just how lazy and samey things can get when no-one cares about the writing.

Apparently, all of these brands have Christmas all wrapped up.

 

By the way, I don’t know if these three examples are from ad agencies or produced by marketing teams in-house, but these are just three (JUST THREE – I know McDonald’s amongst others are also using THE SAME copyline on TV) that I’ve randomly collected from emails and online ads I’ve seen over the past 3 weeks or so.

Bah. Bah. Bah.

Anyway, let’s get back to the REAL meaning of Christmas.

A writer friend of mine was discussing the commercial compulsion we may feel to spend too much and eat too much at Christmas.

It got me thinking, if money was no object, what would I like for Christmas?

Maybe a new dress. Perhaps a new winter coat as mine is looking a bit shabby. And gym membership would also be good. Thanks Father Christmas! x

But my friend said she honestly couldn’t think of anything she wanted.

Her slippers had holes in but were comfy.

Her coat was warm and a bit rubbish, but she didn’t have to care about it.

She’s not bothered about food (other than where it comes from).

She did however have a book list encompassing 25 titles. And she could do with a couple of new Bic biros for writing.

I love her way of thinking, even though I can’t live up (or down?) to her standards. She’s such an other-worldly old hippy, too good for this world.

So, yes.

If I really think about it, I don’t actually need anything.

I’d like some things, for sure.

But I have a warm, dry, safe home.

Enough food. And not too much debt.

Which is more than about 95% of the world.

Putting my children to bed without bombs exploding outside their bedroom windows is also big bonus, of course.

But, if you’re asking, a nice big fat copywriting contract for next year’s Christmas promotions would be nice. 🙂

 * * * * * * * * *   STOP PRESS * * * * * * * * *

Just been sent this little gem…

And a late arrival…

 

 

Any more out there? Don’t let me know…