Him, Robot

I follow the thought-provoking blog A Narcissist Writes Letters, To Himself so it was wonderfully exciting last week to find a yellow padded package (with an exotic San Francisco return address) stuffed into my humble post box here in the UK.

The Narcissist (E.I. Wong Himself) had kindly sent me a copy of his book*.


I sat down at my quintessentially English breakfast table, poured myself a cup of quintessential PG Tips tea (pyramid teabags, natch) and began to peruse the pages torn from the tortured Poet’s mind.

All of human life, rich in experience, is here.

From the evident joy of harpooning a pelican, to depression echoing the symptoms of a giant tapeworm, this small book covers a multitude of subjects to make us all pause for thought, and wonder.

How often have you considered the implications of a birthday surprise from friends that features deadly blow-darts?

Or that by simply walking into a web you can turn an excited spider’s dream feast into a broken home hell?

Amazingly perceptive, perspicacious and pretentious.

On every page E.I. Wong (I think I can call Him Eric) teaches us that life knows we are all idiots; indeed, ‘life’s main purpose is merely to try and replace us with something better’.

My particularly favourite poem is ‘A Shrill Shriek Follows Me’, which I reproduce here for your delight, and to give you a small flavour of the mad genius that lies within this small book.


The Poet’s explanatory notes beneath His poems and prose are worthy works of their own: poignant, funny, erudite and often downright rude.

Bald, bold, bad.

This book is provocative, sometimes sexually graphic, and occasionally non-PC. But E.I. Wong doesn’t care what you or I think**.

And for that I have to admire Him.

In his defence, the book’s cover notes tell me E.I. Wong ‘attended the University of Oregon for Poetry, where He was not well received’.

I commend this book to all who enjoy discovering a different poetical perspective on life. I recommend you follow E.I. Wong’s blog too. Even if you don’t always like his writing, I understand he is very good looking.

I’ll leave you with some final precious advice on the art of creative writing, direct from the virtuoso Himself:

‘Write better poetry.’


*I had to agree to review it. So I am.

**He just wants the coverage.