the crone

opening the door to ideas

I love his face.

His ears reddening, his cheeks reddening, when he sees (knows)
He has done something wrong.

I love his range of facial expressions.

I hate myself for even loving the way his face crumples
in such vividly visual disappointment (in himself, in his toy).

His face speaks a thousand emotions, a thousand words to me.

His thick, thatchy hair (it spikes you to kiss).
His gappy teeth and square ‘little man’ jaw.
His wiry, robust and strong little body.

I want him to get the Stars Of Achievement.
I want him to read The Words.
I want him to reach the rainbow square and show them all.
Show them all.

I want his teachers to like and understand him.
I want other children to love him as I do.

He is so funny.
So, different.

I fear he will choose never to fit in,
and be lost forever.

I hold his warm little hand.
My heart is fierce with protective love; not soppy:
I am fighting my love,
To help him understand the sorrow of having
To ‘Fit in’
To ‘Do as he is told’
To ‘Be like all the others’.

To crush his exuberant madness,
His brainwaves,
His creative force.

To crunch him up,
Tight.
In a box.
Like school and society want.

Controllable, bland, Vanilla Boy.

Owey, Owey Oatflake.

Hide and hold a fragment of your beautiful, crazy, shiny self.

You have no idea how it will comfort you when you are older.

Asperger's on sports day

It’s the not taking part that counts.

October 22, 2014

Home hair dye kits. Why are they so dangerous? When I was young and happily grey-free, I thought nothing of going down to Woollies or Boots to pick up a pack of hair dye off the shelf, slathering it onto my hair and gambling with the results. It was fun. Some results were hilarious (I …

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I’ve worked in the creative business for years, and have always been acutely aware of the importance of self-image for women. Punk didn’t ever die (for me), but it has had to be de-spiked on occasion. So, dressing to meet new clients now I’m older has become a fine balance between displaying personality and professionalism. …

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