the crone

opening the door to ideas

I was about 11-12 years old, on summer holiday in the Norfolk Broads with my mum, dad, 2 sisters and a cousin. I was one of the youngest children. It was early afternoon on a clear and sunny late summer’s day. We’d moored our hired long boat in a very quiet area next to fields and …

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We were asked to donate a nearly-new cuddly toy to my boy’s school to raise funds in the Christmas raffle. My son decided to give away one of his precious teddies. The teddies of all shapes and sizes (and species) jumble together in a seemingly random heap, next to his pillow in bed. However, they apparently have a strict ranking and …

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As this festive time of year approaches, I am reminded that tis the season to lay off staff (fa la la la … la la la LA!). I know it doesn’t scan as happily as the traditional carol, which is apt for such sad tidings. In the past week alone I’ve heard of two colleagues who are now facing a bleak midwinter; I’m …

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Talking with a friend. I realised that life is a series of flaky compromises — a bit like a bland baklava. What’s For Afters? Dirty pan, mucky plates Not wiped clean In a mess Smelly, sticky, ugly to see Cold, coagulated vomitus Thrown up and thrown away Half munched, half crunched Chewed knobs of gristle, …

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Running. At the age of 44 I had a sudden urge to get fit and lose weight. So around 4 years ago I gave running a go. Well, I gave running, wobbling and walking a bit of a go. I used to go out early. Around 6.00am was best. Before anyone could see me. Before …

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Home hair dye kits. Why are they so dangerous? When I was young and happily grey-free, I thought nothing of going down to Woollies or Boots to pick up a pack of hair dye off the shelf, slathering it onto my hair and gambling with the results. It was fun. Some results were hilarious (I …

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