I’ve been remembering one of the greatest moments of my life with my son when he was aged 8. SCENE: A Paediatric Psychologist’s consulting room. Various toys and bricks are placed strategically around the doctor’s desk. AFTER A PREAMBLE CHAT WITH THE BOY AND EXPLORATION OF TOYS … Boy: “I see this wind-up Bob the …
A muscular fist punches a hole through my chest.Why so scared? Why so scared? Why do you always want to be missed out, skipped over, anonymous? Why make choices that no one will ever see, comment on or know? Here I am still trying to break my arm in The Door rather than speak. I slam myself …
When did magic die for you? I always believed in magic. I mean, really believed in it. Aged 9 I thought if I wished hard enough my cat would talk to me. That he was only hiding his secret self behind his impassive cat face because he could not trust a human. Could never trust a human, not even …
My cat Jinx was found dead about 2 weeks ago. He loved being brushed, and I tweeted about collecting his fur in a pot, joking that ‘I could make another cat’. Not such a joke now. But I used his fur to make the Heart of Jinx. Then I made a cuddly Jinx out of …
There’s a cat-shaped hole in our house tonight.
There was a zombie woman on my early morning train. Her face was a skeleton. Smooth tea-coloured skin stretched over dry bones. Milky blank eyes of faint cataract blue. Colourless dry wisps of hair stuck to the dome of her skull. Her maw was opened. Dark. Like a tunnel. The dry lips strained. Mouthing. She stared forward. Focusing …
Sinking. That’s what I’ve been doing. Not writing. Not running. Not working. Not looking after myself. I’ve had long blank months where I could have written that novel/children’s story/poetry/comedy script/blog. And yet I do nothing. Except sink. The more I feel I *should* do something constructive, the more useless I feel. I’m drowning. I might thrash and …
I’ve been researching the rise of ‘Pauper funerals’ in the UK. Also called Section 46 funerals, these are burials that are paid for by the local authority when someone dies alone, with no known next of kin. What struck me as I read through case studies, watched news articles and looked up Gazette postings, is that when …
I’ve been talking to another blogger fourhillsfarm64 about the legacy of being a child who has grown up and lived with the long-term disease and death of a parent (or loved one). I’ve covered some of my own thoughts and experiences on this in previous posts. The outside calm and the inside crying My father was disabled and horribly ill for most of my …
Now I’ve moved house, I’m trying to get back on track with my health and fitness. (Mmmm, just seeing the word ‘track’ makes me think of a delicious nutty treat…) I don’t need it. I think I am obsessed with food. Having a wobble So my week pans (…mmm crispy fried bacon) out like …
the crone 